On Knights, D/s and Service — Guest Post by Xan West

GDP022-ShowYourselftoMeCover (1) (1)One of the first people I ever did D/s with as a Dominant was j., a sweet and earnest boi who thought of hymself as a knight. Hys submission was based on hys conception of chivalry. That particular masculine archetype was where hy found honor, pride and strength in service to a Dominant. Hy was the first of quite a few submissives that I’ve known who found the knight/chevalier archetype a way to access their submissive masculinity.

There is a huge fantasy of feudalism that many find deeply compelling: the rigidity of hierarchy, a time when masculinity was honorable, pride in service to a monarch, the romance of a knight carrying a lady’s favor, trial by combat, the ordeal of knighthood. So many stories have been written about this, a horde of fantasy, romance and legend that feeds this archetype of submission. I’ve read (and loved) a bunch of them myself.

These stories and this archetype obfuscate the realities of medieval feudalism, and ignore the complexities of the ways power was working at the time. For example, the concept of honorable knighthood ignores the historical role of knights in colonialism. And, I was recently informed by a medieval historian that current historical scholarship shows that relationships among folks of the same class were so much more important in people’s lives than the class hierarchy that is often romanticized.

Fantasies of knighthood are refracted through desire and wishes for a redemptive masculinity, a way of being powerful in submission, a way of enacting kink with honor. Many of the folks I know who evoke knighthood or chivalry in their kink (and there are a whole host of Dominants who do this as well), do so out of a desire for an ethical framework, a way to enact power that feels honorable and consensual and romantic. These are often folks who know what abusive and oppressive power and masculinity are like, and are attempting to craft a way to play with power and gender that does not reproduce abuse.

So when I was imagining a time travel story about a Dominant finding his way back to submission again after giving it up for many years in the aftermath of an abusive D/s relationship, it made sense to take him back in time to a fantasy of medieval feudalism. To create an opportunity for a cathartic scene that would give him a framework for choosing service again, through an ordeal of knighthood.

“My Will” is told from the perspective of that Dominant. It begins with him meeting a man that he can’t stop thinking about kneeling for, even though he gave that up long ago. They talk kink ethics for hours, and become friends. Then Preston (and yes he is named after John Preston, in homage to the way these two characters are enamored of old school leather) offers a scene for his birthday, and he cannot resist trying submission again, rationalizing that it’s for a limited time, kind of like a vacation.

For the first half of the story, you witness this Dominant kneel for the first time in fifteen years, and fall back in love with submission, again. He reclaims his own desire, and revels in the beauty that can be D/s dynamic. You get to savor the intensity of a deep D/s dynamic, slow and languorous and drawn out in full deep strokes that reach into his heart and hold. Preston is ruthless in his expression of Dominance, and that’s exactly what he aches for, is so sublimely what he needs that he is so overwhelmed he passes out, and is transported back in time, to face a knight’s ordeal.

Just as Preston pushed him to admit his desire to be under his boot, so does the priest require him to verbalize his desire for service before entering the ordeal. That is a theme throughout Show Yourself To Me, scenes where submissives are required to own and verbalize their desire, and both of these choice points are essential in “My Will”. The title is based on that moment of choice, the question he faces: “Is it your will to pursue service?”

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Get the book:

Ebook and print copies at Go Deeper Press: http://godeeperpress.com/projects/show-yourself-to-me-by-xan-west/

Ebook on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Show-Yourself-Me-Queer-Erotica-ebook/dp/B015RVWLGM/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1443534316&sr=1-2

In Show Yourself to Me: Queer Kink Erotica, Xan West introduces us to pretty boys and nervous boys, vulnerable tops and dominant sadists, good girls and fierce girls and scared little girls, mean Daddies and loving Daddies and Daddies that are terrifying in delicious ways.

Submissive queers go to alleys to suck cock, get bent over the bathroom sink by a handsome stranger, choose to face their fears, have their Daddy orchestrate a gang bang in the park, and get their dream gender-play scene—tied to a sling in an accessible dungeon.

Dominants find hope and take risks, fall hard and push edges, get fucked and devour the fear and tears that their sadist hearts desire.

Within these 24 stories, you will meet queers who build community together, who are careful about how they play with power, who care deeply about consent. You will meet trans and genderqueer folks who are hot for each other, who mentor each other, who do the kind of gender play that is only possible with other trans and genderqueer folks.

This is Show Yourself to Me. Get ready for a very wild ride.

Join the blog tour — see schedule below, or go here for a list that will have updates.

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Xan West is the nom de plume of Corey Alexander, a recent transplant to Oakland from Brooklyn, who has been doing community kink education for over ten years. Xan has been published in over 35 erotica anthologies, including the Best S/M Erotica seriesthe Best Gay Erotica series, and the Best Lesbian Erotica series. Xan’s story “First Time Since,” won honorable mention for the 2008 National Leather Association John Preston Short Fiction Award. Xan’s work has been described by reviewers as “offering the erotica equivalent of happy ever after” and as “some of the best transgressive erotic fiction to come along in recent years.”

Xan refuses pronouns, twists barbed wire together with yearning, and tilts pain in many directions to catch the light. Xan adores vulnerable tops; strong, supportive bottoms; red meat; long winding conversations about power, privilege, and community; showtunes; and cool, dark, quiet rooms with comfortable beds. Find Xan’s thoughts about the praxis of sex, kink, queerness, power, and writing at xanwest.wordpress.com.

Show Yourself to Me blog tour:

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e[lust] #64

Below is a copy of the November edition — Enjoy!

Elust #64

Cheeky minx
Photo courtesy of Cheeky Minx

Welcome to Elust #64

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #65? Start with the rules, come back December1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

On a special note I want to mention that the judges voting on Elust is often very close, this month more than most. You all do such fine work that it is very hard for us to come up with the final results.

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Ownership: On Sexuality & Feminine Relations

Tool Time

Seven – A Fairytale of Sorts

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

The Love Letter of O
To My Single Submissive Friends – Be Brave

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
What S/He Said: Pressing Stop

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Writing about Writing

How We Talk About Play

Erotic Fiction

The Warehouse
Taking Chance
The Little Mermaid
Trick or Treat
Bad Sex Turns Good
Shall We Dance?
Let’s Play a Game (Spuffy Erotica)
Firemen

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

A MakeLoveNotPorn Reality Check
Pondering Dildos as Art
Where does bdsm come from? Other species/
A Females Perspective on Extreme Feminists

Erotic Non-Fiction

Fucking on Facebook
A lot of Patience
Hands Away
Tall Dark and Handsome Pleasant Surprise
Torture His Balls. Tease His Cock.
Caning Sometime?
I Took my Pony Slave Shopping
Private Dancer
Earning Pleasure The Hard Way
At the Movies

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Finding Shelter in the Shadows.
My First Scarification
Q: “What’s stopping me from reporting owner?”
Squirting…Fact Not Fiction-Part 3

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Shiny Lesbian Syndrome
Communicate!
Losing it, asking for it
Celebration
How I Handle Being A Parent & Sex Positive
Sex as the most intimate performance
The crowded mirror
Sex Hangover

Poetry

Penisaurus – a Lusty Limerick

Blogging

Sex toys are NOT required for fantastic sex
My paint brush is empty.

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To Err Is Human, To Punish May be Advisable

By Wheldrake, my submissive and today’s guest

The leather-clad goddess sits, immaculate, on her ornate wooden chair, riding crop already clasped in one gloved hand. “Come here, slave,” she commands with an imperious tilt of her head. “It’s time for your punishment.”

 ***

It’s easy to see why punishments are such a staple of BDSM fiction. The act of punishing a submissive is a particularly stark expression of the dominant’s power, and can introduce some variety into a story because it involves a motivation other than raw sadism. The interaction can have various emotional textures depending on whether the punishment is being inflicted in sorrow, anger or glee, and received in a spirit of contrition, defiance or resignation.

I generally enjoy reading a well-written punishment scene with interesting characters and richly described action, especially if the person swinging the crop happens to be a woman. I always identify to some degree with the submissive and perhaps even imagine myself in his or her place, suffering at the hands of a relentless disciplinarian for my sins and shortcomings. It’s wonderful fun, in the realm of my imagination. But if I find the idea of being punished so exciting, how on Earth is My Lady supposed to punish me in the real world when I fall short of her expectations and need to be corrected?

Of course, I try to fall short infrequently enough that the question rarely arises. Maybe there are some paragons of submission who never fall short at all, but like Rayne Millaray I’m distinctly sceptical. We submissives are only human. We want to please and obey those who command us, but now and then we inevitably stay up past our bedtimes, yield to the temptation to have just a little nibble of some treat we know we’re not allowed to sample without permission, forget about a deadline for completing an assignment, or whatever. Once in a hopefully long while, we really fuck up, though I’m pleased to say I’ve avoided this so far in my submission to My Lady.

I’m not at all sceptical, on the other hand, about the existence of dominants and submissives who don’t find punishment to be a particularly useful way of dealing with lapses. Maybe simply talking through the reasons for the submissive’s failure works better for them, as a way of preventing recurrences, or maybe the submissive simply finds the dominant’s disappointment so crushing that punishment is superfluous. For me, talking lapses through is useful and a dominant’s disappointment certainly stings, but receiving a punishment that I find genuinely unpleasant both underlines that disappointment and provides a very basic and concrete reason not to screw up again. “I must write to her at least every other day, no matter how busy I am, or she’ll probably make me regret it” is primitive but impeccable logic that strikes a chord with me and helps to keep me on the straight and narrow.

There’s still the question of technique, which can be a bit tricky. The idea that beating a masochist is a reward rather than a punishment provides abundant fodder for comedians, but there’s a certain amount of truth in it. If a submissive finds it thrilling to be hurt by a tough authority figure (and I suppose I’d better raise my hand at this point), then simply taking him or her out behind the woodshed probably isn’t the ideal way to encourage changes in behaviour. With a bit of experimentation, though,it should be possible to come up with some kind of calculated unpleasantness that is either so intense or so profoundly dull and soul-crushing that the submissive recoils from it and becomes eager not to have to experience it again. Some wayward boys and girls, I understand, can’t bear to be tickled. My Lady knows all too well that I hate writing lines, especially by hand. I end up feeling bored, frustrated and impatient, a cocktail of emotions that’s distasteful enough to make me want to avoid having to sample it more often than absolutely necessary.

The paradoxical thing about my attitude, though, is that I hate writing lines but love being under the control of a woman who doesn’t hesitate to inflict stiff disciplinary doses of line-writing when she thinks they’re warranted (although, mercifully, it’s been a good while since the last one). Her willingness to punish – to say in effect “no, that was not acceptable, and I’m going to impose unpleasant consequences on you” – is an important, and really quite beautiful, facet of her considerable power over my submissive ass.

A Willful Sub, by Alison Tyler

I’m delighted to have Alison Tyler here again, this time to promote The Delicious Torment, the sequel to Dark Secret Love: A Story of Submission. I can’t say enough good things about these books. Really. I don’t like writing reviews. Other bloggers on this blog tour have detailed the fabulousness of these books, Alison, and her work in general, so please read some of those posts if you haven’t yet.delicious_torment260x420

Maybe that’s cheating, so here are a few of my own thoughts. In BDSM-themed fiction, it’s the dominance and submission that matter most to me. I prefer realism over fantasy, substance over theatrics, and complexity where possible. The Delicious Torment does all of this (and more) with some of my favorite elements: a relationship involving more than two people, switching, and a D/s style I can relate to. All of this is packaged in a superbly written, highly erotic story I couldn’t put down. While I’m more likely to be called “strong-willed” than “willful”, I can identify with Samantha.

Before I turn things over to Alison, I’ll share what my kinky dolls did to illustrate the book.delicious_torment_04r

A Willful Sub

By Alison Tyler

I’m a stubborn little mule. I’m hot headed (thanks to the Hungarian bloodline, I’ve been told). I will never behave. I can’t not ask questions. There’s always a fight in me.

So I was relieved to discover that not all Doms want an easy sub. In fact, some Doms crave a high-spirited partner. One who opens her mouth, not only for the ball gag. One who pushes back, not only against a cock. Samantha, in The Delicious Torment, has a rebellious streak, as well:

Shamefully, I grabbed the paddle and headed down the hall to Alex, wishing I’d worn something other than the white-tiered skirt and form-fitting white tee. Wishing I didn’t feel like such an ingénue, an idiot novice, as I waited for Alex to hang up the phone.

            “You could have simply said ‘yes’ when I arrived,” Alex told me, snidely, emerging to slide the paddle from my grip. “You could have avoided this—” he paused, “this little unpleasantness.” I’d left off cruel when describing him previously. Young, blond, and cruel. Trembling, I prepared myself.

            Alex settled himself on the sofa, taking his time to get comfortable. He was like a baby Dom in training from Jack. But he was good. I’ll give him that. He enjoyed every fucking moment. I waited, rocking on my shoes, those insane white espadrilles that I never should have worn. They always brought me trouble.

            “You know the position,” he said, his voice soft, now, almost crooning.

            I nodded. I would not call him Sir.

            “Then why am I waiting?”

            I hurried to his side, and then over his lap, and I promised myself not to do something like this in the future. And yet a tiny voice whispered in my head. If I hadn’t double-checked. If I hadn’t called, wouldn’t the same thing have happened to me later, over Jack’s lap? It was a no-win situation, as usual for me. But as Alex pulled my skirt to my hips, as his fingertips worked my panties down my thighs, I realized that as always, even when I lost, I won.

What I’ve learned over the years is that BDSM relationships come in as many styles as vanilla ones. There is no one right way. There is no perfect model. Each relationship is as unique as the partners involved. Each dynamic is as unusual as the lovers choose to make it.

Yes, some Doms might kick me out of the club the first time I opened my mouth. But I have managed to find the ones who appreciate an active sub. A wise-ass filly who craves a firm hand on the reins.

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Alison Tyler is the author of Dark Secret Love, The Delicious Torment, and Wrapped Around Your Finger (all published by Cleis Press). Visit her at alisontyler.blogspot.com and follow her at twitter.com/alisontyler for more info about her writing, her caffeine addiction, and her affair with a new bottle of perfume.

BDSM and Bodice-rippers: Guest post by C. P. Foster

With the hope of starting a trend of having more substantive posts about D/s and erotica, I’ve decided to have guest bloggers. As my first, I’m delighted to introduce you to C. P. Foster, an author I met on the Absolute Write forum.  I haven’t read Foster’s books, but I enjoyed reading her blog posts tagged with “BDSM”.

BDSM and Bodice-rippers

by C.P. Foster

Back in the 1980s I read a bunch of romance novels by authors like Bertrice Small, Rosemary Rogers, Roberta Gellis, Katherine Woodwiss, and others. It wasn’t until years later when I got into BDSM that I realized why I loved these books. They were full of BDSM themes. Dominance, submission, bondage, slavery, discipline, sadism, masochism, you name it. Pirates or Sultans captured beautiful women and forced them to have sex (which the women thoroughly enjoyed). Dominant males swept women off their feet. Castle servants serviced visiting knights. No wonder I ate that stuff up like candy.

My first two books, Dark Studies, and the recently released Secret Studies, follow the example of those earlier writers. They are full of BDSM themes, but not in a modern BDSM context. There are no play parties or clubs, no structured Dom/sub relationships, no toy bags full of floggers, whips, and nipple clamps. But there is dominance and submission. Pain and pleasure. Endorphins galore. And blood play, of the vampire variety. (If you want to read more of my thoughts on vampires as mainstream blood play, check out this blog post: http://cpfosterauthor.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/the-bdsm-of-vampires/.)

Books like these are, obviously, fantasy. Modern BDSM springs from these kinds of fantasies, but has been “civilized,” so to speak, with rules and safe words. As necessary as those rules are, they sometimes dilute the underlying desire. That’s why I find myself going back to those old bodice-rippers, where I can completely submerge myself in the make-believe without worrying about negotiations, safe sex, dungeon monitors, or other mundane concerns. It’s a safe way to enjoy the forbidden, unsafe pleasures.

Secret Studies (Arcaneology Book 2)SecretStudes_ByCPFoster-200x300
C. P. Foster
Urban Fantasy, Paranormal Romance
Length: Novel
Warnings: Contains BDSM elements and dubious consent

Buy links:

Amazon
Barnes and Noble
All Romance Ebooks

If she could only stop running, she could start living…

With a million-dollar bounty on her head, Angie Clark has been hiding under the noses of her enemies for nearly a decade. But trying to prevent a war between humans and vampires has landed her in trouble—again. A vampire monarch bent on revenge has taken out a new contract on her, and Angie knows that if she’s caught, her enemies will torture her until she begs for death. Mired in violence and death, keeping her secrets becomes more important than ever. And as her life unravels bit by bit, she fears she’ll have to leave behind everyone and everything that matters to her and run.

But when Steffen Scott puts his life on the line in order to protect her, she can no longer deny her feelings for him. As the threat of war looms over humanity once again, it could mean the annihilation of both species, and Angie must decide whether to keep running or to turn and fight. And maybe find out what she and Steffen could become.

EXCERPT:

She went to him, and let him draw her onto his lap. He angled her so her legs dangled to one side while her back rested against his broad chest. His skin felt cool, but not as cold as before.

“Did you intend to tease me by leaving that lovely throat bare?” he murmured into her ear.

“Don’t you like it?”

His growl vibrated over her. “I’ve thought of little else since the moment I arrived. May I taste you now?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

With a gentle touch, he took the single curl that tickled the side of her neck and tucked it behind her ear. Grace closed her eyes as he settled his mouth over her vein. His fangs extended, thin as those of a snake, and pricked the soft skin. She held her breath.

He curved one arm around her waist an instant before he struck. Pain flickered for only a second, then a lush wave of pleasure overtook her, and she moaned aloud. His arm tightened while his other hand stroked up to cover her breast. He squeezed. Found the stiffening nipple and pinched. Grace arched with desire as he caressed his way to her thighs and edged them apart. The suction of his drinking, the quiet sounds he made, the way his body grew warmer with each passing second, all of the sensations engulfed her.

He eased her skirt up and nudged her panties aside so he could graze his fingertips over her moist lower lips. She tensed from head to toe as he traced a slick path to her bud and began to stroke. Her racing heart pumped blood into his mouth. Pleasure built, and when she came, he sucked harder to drink in her ecstasy.

~~~

To celebrate the release of Secret Studies, book two in the Arcaneology series, I am hosting a give-away for the next week. Entering is simple:

1) come to my Facebook author home page
2) hit like, if you haven’t already
3) leave a comment

That’s it! On Monday the 2nd of September I’ll put all of the names into a virtual hat and give away the prizes. What are the prizes? Glad you asked!

Prize #1: A digital copy (your choice of format) of both books in the Arcaneology Series (Dark Studies and Secret Studies).
Prizes #2 and #3: A digital copy of Secret Studies, plus a vial-of-blood necklace and a bookmark.
Prize #4, 5, and 6: A copy of Dark Studies, plus a blank-book journal and a bookmark.

You can find pictures of the prizes in my album. Come on over and enter today!

Bio:

C. P. Foster is a writer of urban fantasy, romance, and erotica. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband, Cuddles the caliby kitten, and a cat named Tom that is no longer actually a tom. She doubts he appreciates the irony.

Links for C. P. Foster:

Blog: http://cpfosterauthor.wordpress.com

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-C-P-Foster-Aphrodites-Writer/287293758037990

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/CPFoster1