Elust 86

(My Wheldrake’s recent post appears in this edition.)

Elust 86 Header
Photo courtesy of Modesty Ablaze

Welcome to Elust 86

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #86 Start with the rules, come back October 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

On Self-Objectification

Female Orgasms – Addressing Women’s Sexuality

Migraine – A Sexual Spiritual Explanation

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Can You Train a Sub to Orgasm on Command?

Rupert Campbell-Black and me…

 

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Yes I’m a Sexblogger and No I don’t care about your dick

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

BUTTER FOR LUBE… Salted or Unsalted?
KOTW:Static on the line
Control Queen
Well, That Didn’t Go According to Plan

Writing about Writing

A BDSM Vignette from Two Viewpoints

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Sex Negative

Erotic Fiction

The Cure
sports

Erotic Non-Fiction

CORPORAL PUNISHMENT – with a twist
Iris
A Polyquad Squad Orgasm
Beautiful Birthday Fuck
Purpose of Tasks
Do You Trust Me
The meanings of “good girl”

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

How Long Is Enough
The Virgin. Unlocking Feminine Power.
The Other Day
Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!
addressing doubts one step at a time
How D/s has taught me to stick up for myself

Body Talk and Sexual Health

Against All Odds

Poetry

Where I’m From

 

 

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Make Mine to Go — re-released and on sale

Make_Mine_to_Go_200x300

My ebook Make Mine to Go, is available for pre-order and will be released on September 13 (and you can pre-order prior to that). This is a re-release with a new publisher, JMS Books. The only major change is the beautiful new cover.

Click here to buy. New releases are 20% off for the first week.

Blurb:

One key to the success of Justin and Toby’s marriage is plenty of sexual variety, sometimes with other men they know through the local BDSM club. While Toby assumes the submissive role in their power exchanges, it’s more often Justin who generously caters to Toby’s erotic appetites. Toby’s interest in flirting with a salesman should be trivial in comparison to his other desires. Instead, it sends both men down uncomfortable paths.

Toby manages to assure Justin that it was harmless fun, or so it seems at first.  More troubling than Justin being unconvinced is that Toby doesn’t entirely believe his own story. When Toby finally figures out he wants something only another man can give him, he knows it won’t be easy to tell Justin. Is realizing a fantasy—even an exceptionally compelling one— worth the risk?

Excerpt:

“I think we’ve had enough discussion. Unless you have an objection, I want to have my way with you.”

I was never before so thrilled to hear that. “I’m all yours,” I said, and I meant it with all my heart and soul.

“Basement. No talking unless I ask you a question.”

We usually played in the bedroom unless it was going to involve a lot of equipment, so it seemed like I’d have an extra chance to demonstrate my devotion.

“I’m in a sadistic mood tonight, and you need to tell me if you have a problem with that,” Justin said, confirming my impression.

Some nights I was the one begging for more, wanting him to push my limits. Tonight would be for him. “No problem, sir.”

* * * *

Justin told me to stand by the spanking bench, facing the door, an order that didn’t suggest anything especially interesting. I surmised he was headed for the back wall where we had a large collection of impact toys hanging from hooks. Instead, I heard a rustling of paper and cardboard box flaps. Maybe it was something new. The thought of a kinky surprise sent a surge of blood south. It had been a while since either of us had bought a new toy. I got part of my answer when he returned with a mysterious canvas and leather bundle.

“Strip.” He explained only after I started undressing. “I want to try something different. I was concerned it might be on the extreme side, but now I think it’s ideal for tonight.”

It turned out he was holding a straitjacket, not like the leather or rubber ones from the expensive fetish shops online, but equally serviceable, I imagined, for not only restricting my movement, but making me believably helpless. The thought excited me, but it also made me a little nervous—Justin usually played with my body and used relatively little bondage. This boded something more intense. A quick mental scan of our previous scenes provided no clues to what he had in mind other than my immobilization. He watched me carefully and must have detected my concern.

He dropped the straitjacket by his feet. “All mine,” he said as he gathered me into a hug and kissed me hard. “I’ll take good care of my Toby. You trust me, don’t you?” he asked, picking up the jacket.

I nodded and held out my arms to receive the bondage.

“That’s my boy.”

Securing the straps properly took a while, giving me a chance to get into a more submissive frame of mind. I stopped thinking about the novelty of his method and concentrated on wanting to obey him. His firm, reassuring voice and his confident handling of me and the equipment made that easier. I took a few deep breaths while he secured the last buckle and checked his work. After adding a hood and attaching the eye coverings, he bent me over the spanking bench and walked away.

The hood muffled sound, but I thought he was putting some toys on the portable rack near the bench. There was no way to predict a choice of a flogger over a crop or cane, or even a single-tail whip. He enjoyed all of them, and in his hands, any toy could turn into an instrument of pleasure or pain. Having so many options enhanced the erotic tension we both craved. I next heard him opening drawers, which could mean almost anything, from dildos to those evil little clips. My guesses leaned toward pain, based on the restraints. It didn’t seem like the sort of night involving choices, so I just breathed deeply and waited, happy to be the object of Justin’s desire and only slightly uneasy about limits he might test.

Reviews of the first edition:

Rainbow Book Reviews

BDSM Book Reviews

Cameron D. James blog

There are also reviews on Amazon — USA and UK

Two brief excerpts appear in a book by Alison Tyler called Never Say Never: Tips, Tricks, and Erotic Inspiration for Lovers.

To Err Is Human, To Punish May be Advisable

By Wheldrake, my submissive and today’s guest

The leather-clad goddess sits, immaculate, on her ornate wooden chair, riding crop already clasped in one gloved hand. “Come here, slave,” she commands with an imperious tilt of her head. “It’s time for your punishment.”

 ***

It’s easy to see why punishments are such a staple of BDSM fiction. The act of punishing a submissive is a particularly stark expression of the dominant’s power, and can introduce some variety into a story because it involves a motivation other than raw sadism. The interaction can have various emotional textures depending on whether the punishment is being inflicted in sorrow, anger or glee, and received in a spirit of contrition, defiance or resignation.

I generally enjoy reading a well-written punishment scene with interesting characters and richly described action, especially if the person swinging the crop happens to be a woman. I always identify to some degree with the submissive and perhaps even imagine myself in his or her place, suffering at the hands of a relentless disciplinarian for my sins and shortcomings. It’s wonderful fun, in the realm of my imagination. But if I find the idea of being punished so exciting, how on Earth is My Lady supposed to punish me in the real world when I fall short of her expectations and need to be corrected?

Of course, I try to fall short infrequently enough that the question rarely arises. Maybe there are some paragons of submission who never fall short at all, but like Rayne Millaray I’m distinctly sceptical. We submissives are only human. We want to please and obey those who command us, but now and then we inevitably stay up past our bedtimes, yield to the temptation to have just a little nibble of some treat we know we’re not allowed to sample without permission, forget about a deadline for completing an assignment, or whatever. Once in a hopefully long while, we really fuck up, though I’m pleased to say I’ve avoided this so far in my submission to My Lady.

I’m not at all sceptical, on the other hand, about the existence of dominants and submissives who don’t find punishment to be a particularly useful way of dealing with lapses. Maybe simply talking through the reasons for the submissive’s failure works better for them, as a way of preventing recurrences, or maybe the submissive simply finds the dominant’s disappointment so crushing that punishment is superfluous. For me, talking lapses through is useful and a dominant’s disappointment certainly stings, but receiving a punishment that I find genuinely unpleasant both underlines that disappointment and provides a very basic and concrete reason not to screw up again. “I must write to her at least every other day, no matter how busy I am, or she’ll probably make me regret it” is primitive but impeccable logic that strikes a chord with me and helps to keep me on the straight and narrow.

There’s still the question of technique, which can be a bit tricky. The idea that beating a masochist is a reward rather than a punishment provides abundant fodder for comedians, but there’s a certain amount of truth in it. If a submissive finds it thrilling to be hurt by a tough authority figure (and I suppose I’d better raise my hand at this point), then simply taking him or her out behind the woodshed probably isn’t the ideal way to encourage changes in behaviour. With a bit of experimentation, though,it should be possible to come up with some kind of calculated unpleasantness that is either so intense or so profoundly dull and soul-crushing that the submissive recoils from it and becomes eager not to have to experience it again. Some wayward boys and girls, I understand, can’t bear to be tickled. My Lady knows all too well that I hate writing lines, especially by hand. I end up feeling bored, frustrated and impatient, a cocktail of emotions that’s distasteful enough to make me want to avoid having to sample it more often than absolutely necessary.

The paradoxical thing about my attitude, though, is that I hate writing lines but love being under the control of a woman who doesn’t hesitate to inflict stiff disciplinary doses of line-writing when she thinks they’re warranted (although, mercifully, it’s been a good while since the last one). Her willingness to punish – to say in effect “no, that was not acceptable, and I’m going to impose unpleasant consequences on you” – is an important, and really quite beautiful, facet of her considerable power over my submissive ass.

A Willful Sub, by Alison Tyler

I’m delighted to have Alison Tyler here again, this time to promote The Delicious Torment, the sequel to Dark Secret Love: A Story of Submission. I can’t say enough good things about these books. Really. I don’t like writing reviews. Other bloggers on this blog tour have detailed the fabulousness of these books, Alison, and her work in general, so please read some of those posts if you haven’t yet.delicious_torment260x420

Maybe that’s cheating, so here are a few of my own thoughts. In BDSM-themed fiction, it’s the dominance and submission that matter most to me. I prefer realism over fantasy, substance over theatrics, and complexity where possible. The Delicious Torment does all of this (and more) with some of my favorite elements: a relationship involving more than two people, switching, and a D/s style I can relate to. All of this is packaged in a superbly written, highly erotic story I couldn’t put down. While I’m more likely to be called “strong-willed” than “willful”, I can identify with Samantha.

Before I turn things over to Alison, I’ll share what my kinky dolls did to illustrate the book.delicious_torment_04r

A Willful Sub

By Alison Tyler

I’m a stubborn little mule. I’m hot headed (thanks to the Hungarian bloodline, I’ve been told). I will never behave. I can’t not ask questions. There’s always a fight in me.

So I was relieved to discover that not all Doms want an easy sub. In fact, some Doms crave a high-spirited partner. One who opens her mouth, not only for the ball gag. One who pushes back, not only against a cock. Samantha, in The Delicious Torment, has a rebellious streak, as well:

Shamefully, I grabbed the paddle and headed down the hall to Alex, wishing I’d worn something other than the white-tiered skirt and form-fitting white tee. Wishing I didn’t feel like such an ingénue, an idiot novice, as I waited for Alex to hang up the phone.

            “You could have simply said ‘yes’ when I arrived,” Alex told me, snidely, emerging to slide the paddle from my grip. “You could have avoided this—” he paused, “this little unpleasantness.” I’d left off cruel when describing him previously. Young, blond, and cruel. Trembling, I prepared myself.

            Alex settled himself on the sofa, taking his time to get comfortable. He was like a baby Dom in training from Jack. But he was good. I’ll give him that. He enjoyed every fucking moment. I waited, rocking on my shoes, those insane white espadrilles that I never should have worn. They always brought me trouble.

            “You know the position,” he said, his voice soft, now, almost crooning.

            I nodded. I would not call him Sir.

            “Then why am I waiting?”

            I hurried to his side, and then over his lap, and I promised myself not to do something like this in the future. And yet a tiny voice whispered in my head. If I hadn’t double-checked. If I hadn’t called, wouldn’t the same thing have happened to me later, over Jack’s lap? It was a no-win situation, as usual for me. But as Alex pulled my skirt to my hips, as his fingertips worked my panties down my thighs, I realized that as always, even when I lost, I won.

What I’ve learned over the years is that BDSM relationships come in as many styles as vanilla ones. There is no one right way. There is no perfect model. Each relationship is as unique as the partners involved. Each dynamic is as unusual as the lovers choose to make it.

Yes, some Doms might kick me out of the club the first time I opened my mouth. But I have managed to find the ones who appreciate an active sub. A wise-ass filly who craves a firm hand on the reins.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Alison Tyler is the author of Dark Secret Love, The Delicious Torment, and Wrapped Around Your Finger (all published by Cleis Press). Visit her at alisontyler.blogspot.com and follow her at twitter.com/alisontyler for more info about her writing, her caffeine addiction, and her affair with a new bottle of perfume.

BDSM and Bodice-rippers: Guest post by C. P. Foster

With the hope of starting a trend of having more substantive posts about D/s and erotica, I’ve decided to have guest bloggers. As my first, I’m delighted to introduce you to C. P. Foster, an author I met on the Absolute Write forum.  I haven’t read Foster’s books, but I enjoyed reading her blog posts tagged with “BDSM”.

BDSM and Bodice-rippers

by C.P. Foster

Back in the 1980s I read a bunch of romance novels by authors like Bertrice Small, Rosemary Rogers, Roberta Gellis, Katherine Woodwiss, and others. It wasn’t until years later when I got into BDSM that I realized why I loved these books. They were full of BDSM themes. Dominance, submission, bondage, slavery, discipline, sadism, masochism, you name it. Pirates or Sultans captured beautiful women and forced them to have sex (which the women thoroughly enjoyed). Dominant males swept women off their feet. Castle servants serviced visiting knights. No wonder I ate that stuff up like candy.

My first two books, Dark Studies, and the recently released Secret Studies, follow the example of those earlier writers. They are full of BDSM themes, but not in a modern BDSM context. There are no play parties or clubs, no structured Dom/sub relationships, no toy bags full of floggers, whips, and nipple clamps. But there is dominance and submission. Pain and pleasure. Endorphins galore. And blood play, of the vampire variety. (If you want to read more of my thoughts on vampires as mainstream blood play, check out this blog post: http://cpfosterauthor.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/the-bdsm-of-vampires/.)

Books like these are, obviously, fantasy. Modern BDSM springs from these kinds of fantasies, but has been “civilized,” so to speak, with rules and safe words. As necessary as those rules are, they sometimes dilute the underlying desire. That’s why I find myself going back to those old bodice-rippers, where I can completely submerge myself in the make-believe without worrying about negotiations, safe sex, dungeon monitors, or other mundane concerns. It’s a safe way to enjoy the forbidden, unsafe pleasures.

Secret Studies (Arcaneology Book 2)SecretStudes_ByCPFoster-200x300
C. P. Foster
Urban Fantasy, Paranormal Romance
Length: Novel
Warnings: Contains BDSM elements and dubious consent

Buy links:

Amazon
Barnes and Noble
All Romance Ebooks

If she could only stop running, she could start living…

With a million-dollar bounty on her head, Angie Clark has been hiding under the noses of her enemies for nearly a decade. But trying to prevent a war between humans and vampires has landed her in trouble—again. A vampire monarch bent on revenge has taken out a new contract on her, and Angie knows that if she’s caught, her enemies will torture her until she begs for death. Mired in violence and death, keeping her secrets becomes more important than ever. And as her life unravels bit by bit, she fears she’ll have to leave behind everyone and everything that matters to her and run.

But when Steffen Scott puts his life on the line in order to protect her, she can no longer deny her feelings for him. As the threat of war looms over humanity once again, it could mean the annihilation of both species, and Angie must decide whether to keep running or to turn and fight. And maybe find out what she and Steffen could become.

EXCERPT:

She went to him, and let him draw her onto his lap. He angled her so her legs dangled to one side while her back rested against his broad chest. His skin felt cool, but not as cold as before.

“Did you intend to tease me by leaving that lovely throat bare?” he murmured into her ear.

“Don’t you like it?”

His growl vibrated over her. “I’ve thought of little else since the moment I arrived. May I taste you now?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

With a gentle touch, he took the single curl that tickled the side of her neck and tucked it behind her ear. Grace closed her eyes as he settled his mouth over her vein. His fangs extended, thin as those of a snake, and pricked the soft skin. She held her breath.

He curved one arm around her waist an instant before he struck. Pain flickered for only a second, then a lush wave of pleasure overtook her, and she moaned aloud. His arm tightened while his other hand stroked up to cover her breast. He squeezed. Found the stiffening nipple and pinched. Grace arched with desire as he caressed his way to her thighs and edged them apart. The suction of his drinking, the quiet sounds he made, the way his body grew warmer with each passing second, all of the sensations engulfed her.

He eased her skirt up and nudged her panties aside so he could graze his fingertips over her moist lower lips. She tensed from head to toe as he traced a slick path to her bud and began to stroke. Her racing heart pumped blood into his mouth. Pleasure built, and when she came, he sucked harder to drink in her ecstasy.

~~~

To celebrate the release of Secret Studies, book two in the Arcaneology series, I am hosting a give-away for the next week. Entering is simple:

1) come to my Facebook author home page
2) hit like, if you haven’t already
3) leave a comment

That’s it! On Monday the 2nd of September I’ll put all of the names into a virtual hat and give away the prizes. What are the prizes? Glad you asked!

Prize #1: A digital copy (your choice of format) of both books in the Arcaneology Series (Dark Studies and Secret Studies).
Prizes #2 and #3: A digital copy of Secret Studies, plus a vial-of-blood necklace and a bookmark.
Prize #4, 5, and 6: A copy of Dark Studies, plus a blank-book journal and a bookmark.

You can find pictures of the prizes in my album. Come on over and enter today!

Bio:

C. P. Foster is a writer of urban fantasy, romance, and erotica. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband, Cuddles the caliby kitten, and a cat named Tom that is no longer actually a tom. She doubts he appreciates the irony.

Links for C. P. Foster:

Blog: http://cpfosterauthor.wordpress.com

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-C-P-Foster-Aphrodites-Writer/287293758037990

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/CPFoster1

My distraction is your gain – two new links

Editing a manuscript has kept me busy for the last few weeks. I’m almost finished, but the last few difficult bits had me searching online for ideas. Once I found a useful page, I checked out the other links, of course. My distraction is your gain. At The Pervocracy, “Anatomy of a Scene” inspired my thinking about a flogging scene I was editing. The link takes you to the “Notable Posts” page, which includes that one.

The other link isn’t directly related to my story. A friend asked me to explain “queerness”, leaving me at a loss for the right words. “What Queerness Means To Me” (wasn’t that easy?) did an excellent job of covering much of what I wanted say, and more. The Tranarchism blog has a variety of neatly organized posts under headings of Queer, Feminism, Kink, and others, particularly Trans issues, not a personal concern of mine, but relevant in a more general sense.

Don’t let me forget to tell you about Morgan Hawke’s Erotic Thesaurus and Non-Verbal Thesaurus.

Ad-dick-tion Contract Signed

One of my short stories will appear in an anthology to be released by Breathless Press in May 2012.  Ad-dick-tion Volume 2 is a collection of m/m erotica with no common theme other than a rating of at least four on the five-point “heat” scale.  My contribution is based on “The Name Game”  – see fiction link.

For current m/m offerings at Breathless Press, visit http://www.breathlesspress.com/Line/Adonis

Frequent visitors to my site already know I use this blog primarily for announcements. If you want to read blog posts about BDSM, I have provided a selection of links on the upper right of the page. There are also links to other types of sites and articles.