Am I a Pervert?

To support my habit of making naughty doll scenarios, I’ve recently made several eBay purchases. The latest was a large collection of clothes for a certain 12-inch female doll. As I took this outfit out of the bag, an image of a rattan cane sprang to mind.

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Never Say Never — Defined

nsn-0838 excerptDefinition 1: My guiding principle for most matters of sex and sexuality. I’ve been wrong more than a few times when I’ve thought I’d never do or be something.

Definition 2: A generally useful principle that doesn’t apply to some forms of BDSM play. There are many things that shouldn’t be tried, for safety and other reasons. Go quickly in the opposite direction if you encounter a “no limits” player.

Definition 3: Theme song of the movie, The Karate Kid (2010 version), performed by Justin Bieber. I stumbled upon this when searching for something else.

And, most importantly,

Definition 4: The title of Alison Tyler’s new book. The subtitle, Tips, Tricks, and Erotic Inspiration for Lovers, and the book’s awesomeness distinguishes it from other books with the title.

The publisher, Cleis Press, says: it’s a blissful blend of Tyler’s wisdom, expert advice and scintillating erotic scenarios guaranteed to liven up your bedroom. Finding the true object of your lust is only the beginning. The sizzling stories and helpful tips in Never Say Never will help you discover exactly what sets your pulse racing for a lifetime of satisfying sex.

It’s your erotic one-stop shopping: for each technique, toy and theme, Never Say Never offers advice, ideas, illustrative snippets from erotica authors, and a short work of erotic fiction — contributions from over forty authors! Snippets from my erotica appear in the chapters for blindfolds and ménage. While BDSM is well-represented, the book includes vanilla (sort of) and other flavors.

As some of my readers know, I love creating erotic scenarios with my toy action figures and stuffed animals. My models were especially excited about shooting the enactment of Never Say Never. This photo first appeared on Alison Tyler’s blog, where she had some extremely nice things to say about my “cleverosity”. Thanks, Alison!

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e[lust] #56

The following is a copy of this month’s e[lust] (#56), an outstanding collection of posts from sex bloggers. This issue includes our first contribution to e[lust], my Wheldrake’s post on punishment.

elustheader Photo courtesy of Understanding Flutterby

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #57? Start with the rules, come back April 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Trick of the Light

What Does Porn Lead To

The Posh Life of a Sex Toy Reviewer?

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Eleven Quarters

Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Sadists

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Fiction

The Watchman
Short Story: Tucked Away
Property’s Progress
Glass Houses
Proud and Prejudged
You’ll Do…. Now Step Closer.
Pet Ballerina
Superotica Valentine – Day 7
Get In Me, Daddy
White Gloves

Blogging

Posting a photo a day!
How to Handle Your Junk in Public
My first trick on a corner
Mid Morning Musings ~ The Catharsis of Pain
Francesca Woodman Inspired Self Portraits
Eve’s Quandary – Blogging Between Fig Leaves
What I Be

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Why 3 out of 4 young women don’t masturbate
An Open Letter To Sex Toy Manufacturers
Daily Photo – Day 1: Full Disclosure

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Fantasies, deep and dark
Fun with ropes
Where we started from
Kink from a humbler perspective
To Err Is Human, To Punish May be Advisable
Reader Q&A: How does a sub say ‘no’?
Finding Balance

Erotic Non-Fiction

Suspended
Sister, Oh Sister
My First Trick
This one’s for you
Angela’s orgasm
His Rope Show
Finger Banging With Daddy
Feeding Submission
Valentine’s Day Diary
Balance at the Boat Launch
Rope, Rhino Cock, and a Balancing Act
Exquisite

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Monogamous, Kinky Couple-Friends
As Lust Fades
A discussion with Mom
When Did You Realize You Were Dominant?
How to Fake an Orgasm
How To Increase Your Libido Without Cialis

Writing About Writing

Talking Dirty
Fiction! Thank You!

Poetry

I’m Willing To Earn The Right
Bad habits

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Introducing Wheldrake

Wheldrake, my talented submissive, is now an official author here rather than a guest. That means he gets to do the work of making his words appear here in addition to writing them. To provide a more proper introduction, one of us will have to write it and get back to you. For now, you can learn something about him through his posts.

To Err Is Human, To Punish May be Advisable

By Wheldrake, my submissive and today’s guest

The leather-clad goddess sits, immaculate, on her ornate wooden chair, riding crop already clasped in one gloved hand. “Come here, slave,” she commands with an imperious tilt of her head. “It’s time for your punishment.”

 ***

It’s easy to see why punishments are such a staple of BDSM fiction. The act of punishing a submissive is a particularly stark expression of the dominant’s power, and can introduce some variety into a story because it involves a motivation other than raw sadism. The interaction can have various emotional textures depending on whether the punishment is being inflicted in sorrow, anger or glee, and received in a spirit of contrition, defiance or resignation.

I generally enjoy reading a well-written punishment scene with interesting characters and richly described action, especially if the person swinging the crop happens to be a woman. I always identify to some degree with the submissive and perhaps even imagine myself in his or her place, suffering at the hands of a relentless disciplinarian for my sins and shortcomings. It’s wonderful fun, in the realm of my imagination. But if I find the idea of being punished so exciting, how on Earth is My Lady supposed to punish me in the real world when I fall short of her expectations and need to be corrected?

Of course, I try to fall short infrequently enough that the question rarely arises. Maybe there are some paragons of submission who never fall short at all, but like Rayne Millaray I’m distinctly sceptical. We submissives are only human. We want to please and obey those who command us, but now and then we inevitably stay up past our bedtimes, yield to the temptation to have just a little nibble of some treat we know we’re not allowed to sample without permission, forget about a deadline for completing an assignment, or whatever. Once in a hopefully long while, we really fuck up, though I’m pleased to say I’ve avoided this so far in my submission to My Lady.

I’m not at all sceptical, on the other hand, about the existence of dominants and submissives who don’t find punishment to be a particularly useful way of dealing with lapses. Maybe simply talking through the reasons for the submissive’s failure works better for them, as a way of preventing recurrences, or maybe the submissive simply finds the dominant’s disappointment so crushing that punishment is superfluous. For me, talking lapses through is useful and a dominant’s disappointment certainly stings, but receiving a punishment that I find genuinely unpleasant both underlines that disappointment and provides a very basic and concrete reason not to screw up again. “I must write to her at least every other day, no matter how busy I am, or she’ll probably make me regret it” is primitive but impeccable logic that strikes a chord with me and helps to keep me on the straight and narrow.

There’s still the question of technique, which can be a bit tricky. The idea that beating a masochist is a reward rather than a punishment provides abundant fodder for comedians, but there’s a certain amount of truth in it. If a submissive finds it thrilling to be hurt by a tough authority figure (and I suppose I’d better raise my hand at this point), then simply taking him or her out behind the woodshed probably isn’t the ideal way to encourage changes in behaviour. With a bit of experimentation, though,it should be possible to come up with some kind of calculated unpleasantness that is either so intense or so profoundly dull and soul-crushing that the submissive recoils from it and becomes eager not to have to experience it again. Some wayward boys and girls, I understand, can’t bear to be tickled. My Lady knows all too well that I hate writing lines, especially by hand. I end up feeling bored, frustrated and impatient, a cocktail of emotions that’s distasteful enough to make me want to avoid having to sample it more often than absolutely necessary.

The paradoxical thing about my attitude, though, is that I hate writing lines but love being under the control of a woman who doesn’t hesitate to inflict stiff disciplinary doses of line-writing when she thinks they’re warranted (although, mercifully, it’s been a good while since the last one). Her willingness to punish – to say in effect “no, that was not acceptable, and I’m going to impose unpleasant consequences on you” – is an important, and really quite beautiful, facet of her considerable power over my submissive ass.

A Willful Sub, by Alison Tyler

I’m delighted to have Alison Tyler here again, this time to promote The Delicious Torment, the sequel to Dark Secret Love: A Story of Submission. I can’t say enough good things about these books. Really. I don’t like writing reviews. Other bloggers on this blog tour have detailed the fabulousness of these books, Alison, and her work in general, so please read some of those posts if you haven’t yet.delicious_torment260x420

Maybe that’s cheating, so here are a few of my own thoughts. In BDSM-themed fiction, it’s the dominance and submission that matter most to me. I prefer realism over fantasy, substance over theatrics, and complexity where possible. The Delicious Torment does all of this (and more) with some of my favorite elements: a relationship involving more than two people, switching, and a D/s style I can relate to. All of this is packaged in a superbly written, highly erotic story I couldn’t put down. While I’m more likely to be called “strong-willed” than “willful”, I can identify with Samantha.

Before I turn things over to Alison, I’ll share what my kinky dolls did to illustrate the book.delicious_torment_04r

A Willful Sub

By Alison Tyler

I’m a stubborn little mule. I’m hot headed (thanks to the Hungarian bloodline, I’ve been told). I will never behave. I can’t not ask questions. There’s always a fight in me.

So I was relieved to discover that not all Doms want an easy sub. In fact, some Doms crave a high-spirited partner. One who opens her mouth, not only for the ball gag. One who pushes back, not only against a cock. Samantha, in The Delicious Torment, has a rebellious streak, as well:

Shamefully, I grabbed the paddle and headed down the hall to Alex, wishing I’d worn something other than the white-tiered skirt and form-fitting white tee. Wishing I didn’t feel like such an ingénue, an idiot novice, as I waited for Alex to hang up the phone.

            “You could have simply said ‘yes’ when I arrived,” Alex told me, snidely, emerging to slide the paddle from my grip. “You could have avoided this—” he paused, “this little unpleasantness.” I’d left off cruel when describing him previously. Young, blond, and cruel. Trembling, I prepared myself.

            Alex settled himself on the sofa, taking his time to get comfortable. He was like a baby Dom in training from Jack. But he was good. I’ll give him that. He enjoyed every fucking moment. I waited, rocking on my shoes, those insane white espadrilles that I never should have worn. They always brought me trouble.

            “You know the position,” he said, his voice soft, now, almost crooning.

            I nodded. I would not call him Sir.

            “Then why am I waiting?”

            I hurried to his side, and then over his lap, and I promised myself not to do something like this in the future. And yet a tiny voice whispered in my head. If I hadn’t double-checked. If I hadn’t called, wouldn’t the same thing have happened to me later, over Jack’s lap? It was a no-win situation, as usual for me. But as Alex pulled my skirt to my hips, as his fingertips worked my panties down my thighs, I realized that as always, even when I lost, I won.

What I’ve learned over the years is that BDSM relationships come in as many styles as vanilla ones. There is no one right way. There is no perfect model. Each relationship is as unique as the partners involved. Each dynamic is as unusual as the lovers choose to make it.

Yes, some Doms might kick me out of the club the first time I opened my mouth. But I have managed to find the ones who appreciate an active sub. A wise-ass filly who craves a firm hand on the reins.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Alison Tyler is the author of Dark Secret Love, The Delicious Torment, and Wrapped Around Your Finger (all published by Cleis Press). Visit her at alisontyler.blogspot.com and follow her at twitter.com/alisontyler for more info about her writing, her caffeine addiction, and her affair with a new bottle of perfume.

Holiday wishes, with a bit of kink

Regardless of what you celebrate (or don’t), I think you’ll enjoy this naughty rendition of ‘Twas the night before Christmas by Lisabet Sarai. A Visit from Mistress Nicole

Okay, that had more than just a bit of kink.