I’m extremely fortunate to have as my guest the woman known as the mistress of literary erotica, the ever-exciting Alison Tyler. This post is part of her blog tour; there’s something special every day in October, and prizes! Rather than trying to tell you what there is to love about her book Dark Secret Love: A Story of Submission, I’m turning the post over to Alison.
Guest post by Alison Tyler
On the night of our first date, as we walked through the darkness near my house, he stopped and pressed me up against the side of a parked car. “What’s your secret fantasy?” he murmured, so soft against my skin. “You can tell me, baby. You can tell me anything.”
I’m a voyeur’s voyeur. (I think this means I like to watch people watch people.) What I’m trying to say is that I always want to know other people’s turn-ons. Into balloon sex? Let me surround you in colorful orbs. Addicted to rubber? Sit at my side while I stretch out every word. Crush on a girl in head-to-toe leather? I’ll whisper a story of skin on skin on skin.
Fetishes fascinate me. But knowing the key that unlocks someone’s kink—that’s what really floats my fantasies. I can find a path into a character’s thoughts once I know his or her secret desire. All the rest comes easily.
Writing Dark Secret Love was different. Rather than fall into someone else’s world, I exposed my own. No, it won’t come as a shock to any reader that I appreciate BDSM. I’ve been editing anthologies on the subject for decades now. But this was an unusual situation. Rather than give a sliver—as I often do—I did the reverse. I exposed as much of myself as I possibly could.
And I turned the reader into the voyeur:
Jack was magic. The clips were off with a wave of his fingers, and suddenly he had a flogger in his hand. With a gentle swing, he landed the first blow, softly, between my thighs. Then harder, and harder, gradually building in intensity. In pressure.In pain.
“And the whole time, you’ve had these warring emotions within you,” Jack said, not asking. “You’ve been looking for what you need, and you’ve been telling yourself simultaneously that you don’t need it at all.”
I turned my head to the side, embarrassed at the fact that my hips had raised up to meet the flogger, that my body responded so automatically to the combination of pleasure and pain.
“Is that so?”
“But what’s the truth, Samantha. What’s the real truth?”
“Nothing else works,” I told him, somehow knowing now what he wanted to hear. “I can’t… I don’t… It has to be like this…”
Jack nodded. ”And I’m going to make you say that over and over until it sinks in. Until you finally get it.” The whipping picked up again, those little strands of suede, of leather landing on my pussy lips, and between them, meeting wetness, meeting swollen skin. Jack was punishing me for failing him, but was confusing me with the pleasure it brought. He was giving me a reward after all.
“Tell me what you need, Samantha. Tell me what you know you deserve.”
I am such an accepting person when it comes to what other people want. Their fetishes.Their desires. And yet, when I turn inward, when I question myself, the shame covers me like deep water. It holds me down.
Tears streaked my cheeks now. And not from the flogger. I stared at Jack, and I saw him watching me intently, waiting for me to answer.
“You have to make it hurt,” I said, my voice low. “I don’t feel it otherwise. I can’t feel it—“ Was that clear enough? Would he accept the answer?
Dark Secret Love is out now from Cleis Press. The Delicious Torment (the sequel) will be published in January. Alison is now working on the third installment in the series. Visit alisontyler.blogspot.com for more views into her window.
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From the publisher, Cleis Press:
Dark Secret Love is a modern-day Story of O, a 9 1/2 Weeks-style journey fueled by lust, longing and the search for true love. Inspired by her BDSM lifestyle and based on her private diaries, Tyler draws on her twenty-five years’ experience penning sultry stories to create a scorchingly hot work of autobiographical fiction, a meta-novel with reality at the core.
Take a deep breath and get your safe word handy. Alison Tyler will push your boundaries to their limits—and have you begging for more.